James Harrison created quite a stir to some for his comments about participation trophies, but I for one agree with him. Just in case you missed the comments here they are:
“I came home to find out that my boys received two trophies for nothing, participation trophies! While I am very proud of my boys for everything they do and will encourage them till the day I die, these trophies will be given back until they EARN a real trophy. I’m sorry I’m not sorry for believing that everything in life should be earned and I’m not about to raise two boys to be men by making them believe that they are entitled to something just because they tried their best…cause sometimes your best is not enough, and that should drive you to want to do better…not cry and whine until somebody gives you something to shut u up and keep you happy.”
I played sports no one gave you a trophy just for playing, you received a trophy if you won a championship. By giving out trophies just for showing up we are sending the wrong message to children.
Sadly some have longed believed the following: The idea was if we give kids trophies, if we tell them they’re wonderful, if we tell them they’re special, they’ll sort of develop a sense of fearlessness and then they’ll actually be more willing to do difficult things, and actually we now have about 20 years of research that shows that’s not true,”
“That if you tell a kid they’re wonderful and they believe you, then it just confirms their belief and that’s not about healthy self-esteem, that’s about narcissism.” said Ashley Merryman, co-author of “Top Dog: The Science of Winning and Losing,”
Does your boss give you a raise at your job just because you show up for work? No, you have to earn it. Not entitle to it, earn it. Too often we as parents and adults try hard to shield our kids from the unpleasantries of life, but there some things you can not shield from. Let kids be kids and let them play sports in the way should be played, but to give trophies just for trying gives them the impression that someone is going to reward them in life all the time just for doing minimal effort and often times you know as an adult that isn’t good enough. And sometimes even in life good isn’t good enough, sometimes someone is better than us.
Too often we cuddle and we think we ar protecting children from the disappointment of winning and losing whether it is Pop Warner Football, Little League baseball, Soccer, Basketball or Ice hockey. The truth is protect from the harms and evils of the real world, protect them from being sad because they lost a game? Come On!